dipdoppines:

toriel: you’ll get your ass handed to you and you’ll deserve it. then she’ll make you feel guilty with pie. don’t fight toriel.

papyrus: you could, and you’d win, but why? what will you get out of fighting papyrus?? he believes in you. don’t fight papyrus.

sans: do not. do not. either he likes you in which case he’ll be too lazy to do anything, or he hates you, in which case you’re fuckin toast kiddo. do not fight sans.

undyne: i mean, she’ll kick your ass, but honestly it’d be a privilege to get beat up by her. fight undyne.

alphys: why??? would you hurt her???? she is small and sad and trying her best. plus if you fight her her buff fish girlfriend will come after you. don’t fight alphys

muffet: you try to fight her and you’ll be covered in spiders with you wallet missing. it’s not worth it. don’t fight muffet.

mettaton: he’ll look more fabulous than you the entire fight, but his egotistical ass could stand to be knocked down a peg. fight mettaton

asgore: look dude. this sad goat man wants you to fight him. he wants to make up for all his past shit. fight asgore. he’ll make you tea after.

chara: PLEASE KICK THIS UNHOLY DEMON CHILD’S ASS. DO IT FOR US ALL. you’ll lose eventually, but we’ll all appreciate the effort

frisk: why? why would you? even if you tried they’d just help you confront your inner demons and give you a hug. fight frisk. you’ll leave a better person.

burgerpants: please oh dear sweet christ PLEASE fight burgerpants i am begging you and so is he