My students are taking a midterm. And I’m shaking with laughter. Fuck. Too real. This post ruined my illusion of being a stoic teacher proctoring an exam.
not to take a joke post seriously but this is literally the ideal period humor because
1.) no gendered language
2.) no assumption that people only use tampons (weirdly prevalent??? in discussions about periods)
*cracks knuckles* i didnt get my medical license revoked for nothing
i like idea of a necromancer that can bring back the dead but doesnt know how to cure the living so has to wait for someone to die before bringing them back
“hey doc do you have any splints I think I fractured my ankle”
Hey gang, I just ran after this animal. Someone tell me what animal is this. Look. It’s weird, I found it. I thought it was a duck. Look at its feet, my god*bird kicks* HEY, CALM IT FUCKER, DON’T PECK ME. My mom has a zoo at her house, I’m gonna take it to her. But look, it’s a weird animal*bird starts pecking his fingers* AAAAAAAAAAAAH IT PECKED ME, SON OF A FUCKING BITCH. *sucks air through teeth*UUUGHH FUCK, HE’S PECKING ME GUYS AAAAAAAAHH, ASSHOLE AAAH. FUCKER, LET ME GO, OH FUCK AAH–
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