venom is getting bad reviews because clearly no movie critics are monster fuckers. send tweet.
like honestly though you know these plain ass bitches were going into those theatres hoping to have some film about how eddie brock overcame the scary slime monster to take down the evil scary bad business man and then he and miss blondie would ride into the sunset on the back of his motorbike and i just have to ask like… did they all seriously watch eddie “big bitch energy” brock and venom “big slut energy” symbiote in the trailer releases and think “oh yes, this is going to be an intellectual piece of film”? No! this film is for horny people and people with taste so bad it’s good. no i won’t elaborate.
(Venom 2018, the trailer)
*creepy orchestra music* *people screaming*
Venom, growling: The way I see it, Eddie… *slams Eddie into a wall* …We… *Eddie screams, eyes turn completely black* …Can do… *Unhinges his jaw and bites off someone’s head* …Whatever we want
*bone-crushing noises* *more screaming*
Some grim and serious trailer voice: We all have our own… *dramatic pause* …Demons
(Venom 2018, the movie)
Venom, yelling at Eddie from a broken bathroom mirror: Dumb little bitch, I’ve reminded you to get tater tots on our way home 15 fucking times and you still forgot? Piece of shit. Useless scum of the Earth
Eddie:
Eddie: Parasite
Venom, voice breaking: You take that back. You take that back Right Now
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