thedarklordwholewheat:

Some Personal Favorite Lines From Brooklyn Nine-Nine

• “Oh no, he called me Jacob. It’s biblical.”
• “Chiaki, is this a man’s sock?” “No, that’s a ceremony sock. For tea.”
• “ Jake, please spiral quieter. Nikolaj is still asleep and if he hears two men arguing in the next room he might think he’s getting sold again.”
• “because a dry boy, is a smart boy”
• “I’ll do anything to perk up my little man.” “ Gotta know how gross that sounds in your underwear.”
• “don’t say you’re going to use your musk.” “I’m gonna use my musk.”
• “everybody stop undressing, we just had harassment training!!”
• *watching a dog show* ‘the best in show goes to… The Wirefox Terrier’ “YEAH!!” *Smashes a bottle* “IM GONNA LIVE FOREVER!!!”
• “Scully, fake a heart attack.” “Ooooo are you thinking classic angina or something sexier, like a mycoardial infarction?” “Just… Get down on the floor and wiggle.”